Personality traits, in love, friendship & more

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More About Cancer


A Cancer’s personality is like wading chest deep in a lake of warm water. It feels sparkling and cool while it’s touching the body, but you know that if you were to dive in, it would feel warm.

Cancer’s self-awareness is like the tides. They’re constantly moving in and out of focus. Their personality is layered. They have many moods, some of which are contradictory, but they also have a deep, core self that persists.

Cancers are weighed down by their own sorrows and the sorrows of those around them. They are frequently haunted by grief. It’s hard for them to share their pain with others, and they are often afraid to be vulnerable because they carry a fear that people will use their weaknesses against them. Cancers have learned to hide their pain to avoid burdening anyone else. They pretend they’re okay when they’re not.

Their emotions are like an exposed nerve. They can feel everything. They’re like a tuning fork that vibrates at the slightest provocation. They tend to carry deep grudges because they can’t forget the emotional sting of a slight.


Cancers are homebodies. They like the comfort of the familiar. They don’t like change. They are drawn to stability and routine. They like to know what is expected. They tend to be less experimental than other signs. They have an attraction to the past. They like to keep traditions alive. They like art that reminds them of a different time. They love old stories, or old art forms. Predictable environments make them feel comfortable. They like to know what’s going to happen. They like to feel that they’re part of a bigger plan. They don’t like surprises.

Cancer in Love, Sex and Romance

This is most relevant to Cancer Venus and Mars, though Cancer Suns may identify with some traits.


  1. Grab their hand while you’re walking down the street. Make sure to clutch it gently but firmly like you’re holding on to a baby bird.
  2. Take them to the home you grew up in. Play sad music. While you lay on the bed together, look at photos of your family members and talk about your complicated childhoods.
  3. Bake them a cake that says “I need you” in mauve colored frosting.


Cancers fall in love easily. They may appear shy and reserved, but underneath this shield is a romantic who suffers from a bad case of the nerves. They don’t fall in love with a person, but with an ideal. They fall in love with what they’re hoping to find. They are looking for a complete and unconditional acceptance because they feel so inadequate and unfinished. They are in love with the idea of being in love. This is why they often find themselves incapable of falling in love with the people who actually love them back.

They want to be loved, but they don’t trust that it will last. They want to be touched, but don’t trust the intentions of the person touching them. They want to be protected, but they don’t trust that anyone will protect them. Once they fall in love with an actual person, they will carry the romantic feelings for their entire life. Their entire body becomes a vessel for the emotion.


Yes. But perhaps more importantly, Cancer flirtation always seems to have a hidden agenda. Cancers are terrible at keeping their romantic secrets. They reveal themselves readily and allow the other party to see behind their masks, but they often do this without realizing it. It’s not that they hold nothing back, but rather that they unconsciously impose their moods and feelings on the other person. It’s not uncommon for a Cancer to suddenly realize they have told someone about their family history or their feelings on a recent tragedy before even realizing what they’re doing.


Yes, Cancers are known to go back to their exes. Cancer’s desire for affection can often lead them to look back at their romantic pasts and linger fondly on the memories of the person they used to be with. They’ll find themselves reminiscing about what a relationship meant to them. They may have been betrayed or lied to, but the initial rush of love they felt for the person will always be there.


Yes, very much so. Cancers also want to be spooned, but they may be too shy to initiate it. They may also feel that it’s a sign of weakness, so they’ll try to push you to do it first.


Cancers can be like a bird that has been caged and hand fed for so long that they begin to believe that they are not capable of surviving in the wild. They lose the will to fly.

Cancers need a love interest to define them. Their memory is an amalgamation of past loves. They are the product of their relationships. Their identity is sculpted by the people who have made them feel a certain way. They use love as a building block to construct a more concrete sense of self.

Their role in a relationship is not to dictate its development, but to react to someone else’s lead. They are shaped by their romantic relationships as much as they shape them. They are an impressionist painting of all their past lovers. They’re a living, breathing collage of the people that have made them feel special. With each new partner, they become a little more whole.

When a Cancer is in love, they blind themselves to anything negative. They can’t see the forest for the trees. They trust too easily. They want to believe the best about everyone. They love “nice people.” They can’t understand why everyone isn’t nice. They want to be supportive of everyone. They have a hard time understanding why something feels wrong.

Cancers need to learn to trust their own instincts and intuition. They need to learn how to survive on their own because being too dependent on someone else will only postpone the healing process.

Cancer in Friendship


Cancers are often stubborn, but they do not have to be. Cancers are often criticized for being harsh on those who they feel have wronged them. They can be punishing, vengeful, and slow to forgive. They hold on to past hurts, but that doesn’t mean they wield them. They’re often too self-effacing to bring them up except when they finally erupt. It would be easier if they could just forgive and forget. They want their wounds to be healed, so they bury them. They’re wounded by their own attachment to memory. It is important for them to remember that transformation is not only possible, but is the natural order of life.


Cancers’ desire for control is rooted in their identity. Identity is the source of Cancer’s emotional security. They are not seeking approval from the outside world, but actively trying to adjust their external environment to reflect their inner world.

Cancer lives in a twilight realm where everything is blurred. The border between themselves and others is not clearly defined, and this is mirrored by their external environment. Their home is a sanctuary that is harmonious with their mood. Their possessions are a manifestation of their internal world.

Cancers do not demand control out of malice, but rather because they feel most comfortable when they’re in charge. They have a ravenous desire to care for others, and they can achieve this by orchestrating the lives of those closest to them.


Cancers are highly sensitive and very insecure, so they need constant reassurance. This doesn’t have to come from a lover or spouse. It can also be a close friend or a parent. Cancers need this emotional intimacy or they suffer.

Cancer thrives on the security of close relationships. Strong relationships are the foundation of their sense of well-being. They need to feel loved. A Cancer soulmate is often someone who has a stronger personality, and who can help Cancer feel more grounded.