Personality traits, in love, friendship & more

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More About Virgo


Virgos are known for being perfectionists. Clean freaks. They are known for their attention to detail. They can find patterns where there are none. They can be finicky and critical to a fault.

It’s true that Virgos are very particular, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that they keep neat spaces. Their particularities and habits don’t necessarily line up with traditional views of cleanliness. They could live in what looks like a Tasmanian devil-style dust storm ruin, but still impose a “no shoes in the house” or “no outside clothes on the bed” rule. Maybe their house looks cluttered, but they still know where everything is. Everything has its place. Virgos prefer to exist in organized spaces, but put their service orientation over their own comfort. This can mean that a Virgo is too busy fixing the lives of those around them to put much work into providing for their own needs. They’re rarely motivated by their own self-interest.

Virgos are also known for being intelligent, but because of their introverted nature they can sometimes have trouble expressing themselves. Talking to them may feel like floating on the surface of existence, and like you never know what they’re thinking and feeling deep inside. Their emphasis on thoughts and ideas can seem like a cover-up for their lack of emotional depth. In reality, they are a fortress unto themselves—the definition of self-containment. Virgos will be endlessly accepting of whatever you have to share, but may not see the value in spontaneously performing a similar excavation of themselves for anyone else.


To be happy, Virgos need to feel like they’re being useful. They feel productive by contributing to something larger than themselves. This is how they derive self-worth. In order to feel like they have value, they need to feel needed.

Virgos actively seek out messes—physical, interpersonal, emotional—in order to fix them.They like working on busy little behind-the-scenes tasks that make life run more smoothly for everyone. They need to keep going at full speed, because if they slow down, the unfolding chaos of the world catches up with them and their heads are filled with constant anxiety. Fixing external chaos distracts them from their own internal messes. It’s this internal disorder that Virgos are always running from, throwing themselves at the Sisyphean task of being the world’s dustpan.

Virgos need a sense of purpose and achievement. They love setting goals and checking things off their to-do lists. What makes them happy is the feeling that they’re making an impact, or at least trying to.


Virgos are generally very modest people. They want to feel acknowledged for their contributions, but they don’t need grandiose gestures of appreciation to feel valuable. They are little geniuses. They notice the details. Virgo knows when their toothbrush has been moved even a centimeter.

Virgos are insecure about the fact that they’re not perfect. They’re aware that their actions have consequences, and that they can, at times, be responsible for their own suffering. This is why you’ll often hear them saying things like “It’s my fault,” and “I did this to myself.”

Virgos are the literal embodiment of the medieval philosopher who lives in a sterile cell, never opening the door for fear that people will catch a glimpse of the mess inside. Their motto is “In order to save myself from myself, I must first destroy myself.” What they want is a pure, clean existence.

They need to be the best to feel worthy of their existence. They can be so obsessed with their own image of perfection, that they lose touch with their true impulses. They repress their feelings by locking them away in order to achieve a state of impassivity.

They can come off as far more rational than they really are. Their feelings are generally a great mystery to them. They feel so many things so deeply, but they usually don’t know how to talk about it. The only way they can express the ineffable is through dry sarcasm.

Virgo in Love, Sex, and Romance

This is most relevant to Virgo Venus and Mars, though Virgo Suns may identify with some traits.


  1. Leave your phone some place obvious, and exclaim loudly that you’ve misplaced it.
  2. While they help you locate your phone, casually mention your passion for getting into a bed with warm sheets fresh from the laundry.
  3. When they invite you over, compliment them on their taste in mid-century modern furniture, and the particular arrangement they’ve chosen.


There’s something attractive about someone who is so orderly and rigid. Virgos have very defined styles, not so much to reach some kind of beauty standard, but to appease their own standards. They are concerned with health and create habits and expectations around it. They are very critical of themselves. They are meticulous when it comes to their appearance. They like to look good. Their social media is curated. Their closets are organized. Their bodies are toned. They’re image-conscious in a way that involves a sculpting of their physical being, and a refinement of the presentation of the self.


It takes Virgos a while to fall in love. They generally don’t like to submit themselves to large sways of passion. They like to have control over their reality, and the emotional intensity mirrors the feeling of chaos.

Virgos tend to be more pessimistic about love than others. They’re cynical about romanticism. They know that love is a fickle, fragile, ephemeral thing. They suspect that love might not be real at all. But when a Virgo finally feels love, it’s not just love—it’s like a homecoming. It’s like they’ve finally found a place where they belong. It’s like they found a way to love themselves.

The real problem is that Virgo is looking for an experience outside of reality. Something that is not attainable in the material world. They believe that the love they’re after exists on some higher plane. And they’re not wrong. It’s just that how they go about it is a little flawed.

It’s not like Virgo is incapable of finding love, it’s just that they’re looking in the wrong place. The real love they’re looking for is inside of themselves. They need to learn to love themselves. They need to make themselves the center of their universe. They need to understand that they are worthy of love.


Despite their self-professed perfectionism, Virgos can be attracted to a wide variety of people. Virgos are not superficial. They can find the beauty in things that most people would dismiss as unappealing.

Initially, a Virgo might be drawn to someone because they are trying to fulfill some need in themselves. They might get attracted to an artist because they want to be creative.

Virgos have a tendency to be drawn to people who are slightly unstable. It’s mostly because they want to put these people back together. Of course, they always feel they have the capacity to tap into the deepest emotional truths of another person. This belief is what makes them so magnetic. But this belief is also often the source of their suffering. This often gets them in situations where they get taken advantage of, or feel like they have to be someone’s only savior. Their relationships can start to feel transactional.


Virgos are afflicted with an absurd amount of expectation. Their love lives are often tumultuous because Virgos tend to be overly critical of other people. They’re not even trying to be mean, they just feel obligated to point out the flaws in others.

When they find someone that they like, they start imagining how perfect their love could be and as time goes on, they begin to conflate the potential of the relationship with the actual relationship. The unfortunate reality is that everyone has flaws. Virgos tend to be much more interested in things and ideas than they are people and feelings. As a result, they can get easily bored and easily distracted. Their hearts are stagnated by their heads.

Virgo in Friendship


The first Virgo enemy is themselves. The second is waste—wasted time, wasted materials, wasted space, wasted energy. Virgos are efficiency addicts.


Virgos are usually very careful about who they make friends with. They’re very particular about the company they keep. They look for people who are compassionate and kind. They tend to gravitate towards other people who are serious and analytical. Virgos often enjoy being around people who are equally interested in self-improvement and intellectual inquiry.

They are particularly good at giving advice. They are innate problem solvers. Virgos are very dependable as friends because they are meticulously conscientious. They think things through before acting. They take others’ emotions into consideration. They are very sensitive to the state of the interpersonal environment. They are the type to call you to ask what they can do to help when they know you’re going through a tough time.

They can sometimes be very judgmental. This is because their internal monologue is always going. They’re always on the lookout for signs of hypocrisy or injustice. On the one hand, this makes them very perceptive and good at identifying flaws in logic or character. However, it can also make them pessimistic and cynical.