There is something in an astrology chart called the angles, which are the Ascendant-Descendant and Imum Coeli-Midheaven. They connect to the 4 pillars of life, and they pair up, lying on an axis. The Ascendant-Descendant axis is the axis of relationships, and shows how you focus on the self (Ascendant) and focus on others (Descendant).
Natal planets aspecting your Ascendant-Descendant axis can impact how you find balance between the two. Planets that are square, which is a hard aspect, can indicate major challenges and blocks you need to work through in order to do that.
Natal Planets Square the Ascendant & Descendant:
The Moon: There can be challenges in expressing what you truly feel, and how you come across as feeling may not reflect your true feelings. This can get in the way in relationships as it prevents you from feeling secure enough to share what you feel, and also slow you from being able to act on what you want subconsciously. The block here may be preventing you from having good self-confidence, and you may repeat old patterns that keep you on the hamster wheel until you break them.
Mercury: There can be challenges with communicating and expressing yourself openly. You may feel misunderstood a lot, and anxious or stumbling over your words. The block here may have to do with embracing open and honest dialogue and being confident in your ability to express yourself so you’re not worried about how others will react to what you think or have to say. If Mercury is retrograde, this is likely tied to the different way you perceive the world, and needing to see that as an asset instead of a liability.
Venus: There can be challenges with expressing affectionate feelings properly in relationships, and you may hold back more than you should, or go overboard. This is likely out of feelings of insecurity, and you may hold back out of fear of what they’ll think/do/say, or go overboard out of fear that they’ll leave or think you don’t care. Insecurity tends to be the block here that needs to be worked on. If Venus is retrograde, this can be even more the case.
Mars: There can be challenges with being overly aggressive, and this can get you in trouble in relationships as others feel you’re being too pushy or are too quick to become angry. The extra energy with this placement requires a positive outlet, otherwise it can create lots of problems. If Mars is retrograde, you may attract many who want to control you and have difficulties with anger themselves, and this may be a reflection of something you’re holding deep inside.
Jupiter: There can be challenges with growing as a person, and you may struggle at times with putting your energy in too many directions so you don’t end up doing as much. There can be difficulties with overdoing anything, and moderation may need to be found. The block here may relate to having a solid sense of both self-esteem and self-awareness, and these can help you to remain in control of yourself and focus the expansive energy properly.
Saturn: There can be challenges with being connected with others, and you may feel cut off in some way. You may feel you have to hold back for one reason or another, and don’t allow for complete emotional, mental, or physical connections. You may be overly cautious, and this can stop you from really opening up. Work on trusting yourself, and then it can become easier to trust others.
Uranus: There can be challenges with being *too* unusual and out of touch with others. You may present it as a belief that you must be true to yourself and can’t fit in any box, but it may be more like you’re either scared of losing yourself (perhaps a family dynamic, or because you don’t know yourself well enough yet), or you’re scared of intimacy and closeness. Working on whichever block it is can help to create healthier connections.
Neptune: There can be challenges with being taken advantage of by others. You can be too vulnerable to deception and manipulation, and want to believe the best in everyone, but this can lead you to be surrounded by people who take everything from you and use you completely. A more solid sense of self is required as knowing who you are can help keep others from projecting so much. Boundaries in relationships are also extremely important for you.
Pluto: There can be challenges with power and control in your relationships, and you may want to have all of the power and control or attract people who do. Inequities in your relationships may feel inevitable, and there may be a tendency to dive into obsession or cruelty, or attract people who treat you that way. Issues related to power and control are likely part of the block, and transforming the way you approach relationships may be needed.
Chiron: There can be challenges with being wounded by others, or being the one wounding others (usually both). You may need to work on being more open to other people’s opinions and ways of doing things, and not take criticism so much to heart. Build up some solid self-confidence and open up your mind.
Lunar Nodes: This can actually tie into blocks with your spiritual, karmic path in life, and you absolutely have to work on finding the balance between the self and others and having overall balance in life. Once this is achieved, this can help to open up your path and free you to find more of your potential and release baggage.
Suggested Reading: Planets Square the Natal Imum Coeli & Midheaven