Could astrological incompatibility destroy the bonds of Hymen? Are there hopelessly incompatible couples? And if so, is there a way to make the incompatible relationship compatible?
TURNING INCOMPATIBLE RELATIONSHIPS INTO COMPATIBLE ONES
According to statistics, the number of divorces in our country has become simply catastrophic. The number of divorces began to exceed the number of marriages. Marriage unions fall apart for a variety of reasons – from financial problems to differences in the characters of the spouses. So what should couples who don’t have rapport do?
Astrology today is increasingly entering the arena for solving practical problems. This science, which, by the way, is more than 4000 years old, is increasingly being used as a tool to help people realize and overcome their problems. As a practicing astrologer, I quite often have to draw up horoscopes for couples where emotional antipodes are partners.
I don’t even mean the difference in characters – often the problem is not at all that one of the spouses, for example, is an uncommunicative gloomy person, and the other is more open and cheerful.
The point is that quite often one has to deal with situations when a man and a woman simply could not understand the emotional nature of their half and therefore were not able to respond to it properly. Many of these couples, despite deep mutual love, have not been able to overcome the differences that separated them.
Traditionally, women complain that husbands are insensitive. In my practice, it happened the other way around. The men who approached me thought that their wives or girls were rather cold and unemotional, and they, in turn, considered such men too sentimental and expansive.
According to astrological typology, people are divided into an intelligent type and an emotional type of personality . Signs of the element of feeling are characterized by the desire and need to feel a strong emotional relationship. And for the signs of the elements of the mind, this level of relationship causes tension, and they clearly have a desire for emotional independence.
For successful interaction and mutual emotional satisfaction, it is necessary that both partners belong to the element of feeling or to the element of the mind, that is, that both are either “sensual” or “sensible”.
If your zodiac sign belongs to the element of emotions ( water signs – Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces or fire signs – Aries, Leo, Sagittarius ), you better enter into relationships with partners, of the same element, with those who tend to feel first, and then already think. They tend to make decisions based on feeling and need an emotional response.
If your soul mate makes you understand that you require too deep emotional contact, then he (she) most likely belongs to the signs of the elements of the mind (signs of the Earth or Air).
The picture will be exactly the opposite if your zodiac sign belongs to the element of reason ( earth signs – Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn or air signs – Gemini, Libra, Aquarius ).
You will find that only people of the same signs are tuned to your emotional wave. Just like you, they tend to think first and then give vent to feeling. They tend to make well-considered decisions and cannot withstand constant emotional stress.
IF YOU ARE INCOMPATIBLE, WHAT TO DO?
Numerous scientific studies have established that people usually choose people who are very similar to themselves as life companions. Especially attractive are those who seem familiar and familiar, with whom we feel at home. You feel that just such a person will be able to understand us.
We all feel comfortable communicating with partners who share our views. But sometimes we can be attracted to the opposite, especially when the differences in personality type are striking.
You read the text above and were upset – it turned out that you and your partner belong to incompatible elements…. Don’t be upset. There are times when “sensibles” and “sensuals” manage to build sincere and emotionally healthy relationships. And for this to happen, the following is required: both the man and the woman must be mature people and love each other.
In addition, you should not have additional negative factors in your personal horoscopes that will aggravate difficulties. On the contrary, positive factors are needed to help overcome incompatibility. Whether certain factors are present or absent in your horoscope of compatibility can be reported by a professional astrologer at a consultation.
It is necessary that the partner, belonging to the emotional type, force himself to accept the fact that the “sensible” partner is more emotionally restrained by nature, and he, in turn, must realize how important emotions are for the “sensual”. Each partner must respect the emotional nature of the other. This increases the chances of coexistence.
If your partner does not want to understand the above, then, most likely, you have problems of a different kind, which have nothing to do with the difference in the zodiac signs. Loving people always understand that not to meet a loved one is selfish and even cruel .
And also remember – you need to be able to negotiate. After all, persistence or ultimatum can provoke a negative reaction, and then no results can be expected.
In addition, people who belong to the elements of the mind (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn, Gemini, Libra, Aquarius) are usually more resistant to innovations and advice from the outside, because they are less inclined to put emotions first. From the same company, “earthly” people (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn) will persist even more than “air” people (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius). Aries, Leo and Gemini hate advice, especially persistent ones – they just annoy them.
Knowing about these characteristics of your partner, it is best to ask him or her in a neutral tone if he or she would like to hear something about this topic. Most likely, they will tell you “yes” – at least out of curiosity. Remind that the interlocutor has the right to interrupt your monologue at any second – if the conversation becomes unpleasant to him or he wishes to listen to the end another time.
Do not seek to unleash an endless stream of thoughts, feelings and experiences on your partner. Give out information “in portions” so that your interlocutor has the opportunity to understand you, to digest the information that you gave him.
In order for the conversation to be successful and productive, choose the right place and time. For example, you should not start a conversation on a personal topic in a crowded and noisy place, and you should also not start it if both of you are in a hurry, do not have enough time to listen to each other.
LEARN TO LISTEN CAREFULLY TO EACH OTHER.
This is my first recommendation for couples with “incompatible” traits. Truly magical things happen when we suddenly stop and start really listening carefully as someone explains their thoughts and desires to us – listening without bias, without criticism, without unnecessary advice. This is called “active listening” and is fundamentally different from normal listening.
There is a wonderful book by Dr. Thomas Gordon, “Parenting Effectiveness Training”, in which he describes this amazing technique as follows: you kind of “act out” back to whoever you listen to what you think he (she) said.
You speak, repeating word by word (like a parrot) or paraphrase what you hear in your own words – but without adding any additions, criticism, bias or advice. This is the most effective method of communication that can correct relationships with any person. It is so effective that it can repair broken bonds.
Unfortunately, this is not so easy to learn, especially for people with a fiery temperament – Aries, Leo, Sagittarius. They are tempted to insert their advice – as soon as it seemed to them that they grasped the essence of the problem. And, of course, if they thought they heard something stupid or out of the ordinary, they will not hesitate to express their opinion – and immediately switch to their own ideas and advice.
This is bad because the true magic of active listening is that it helps people understand themselves. If we go to them with our criticism, notations or propose our own solution, then we can send them down the wrong path. Feeling condemnation, our interlocutor will lose all desire to share with us in the future for fear of being ridiculed.
Perhaps the recipe for a normal relationship is when a partner truly feels our love. Therefore, we must understand that the main thing is not our satisfied perception of the manifestation of our own love, but the partner’s perception of the manifestation of our love. When we talk about the tensions between emotional and intelligent people and the differences in the style of their relationship, we mean the difference in the expression of emotions.
Understanding exactly what your partner expects of you emotionally can be a step towards gradual changes that will foster mutual rapprochement. Remember, this is not a whim of a loved one, but his vital need. What he wants to receive from you, he needs to feel your sincere love and attention to his feelings . He wants to know that you care.
And the main thing to remember is that we are all “molded” from a completely different “test”. Unfortunately, we are often stubborn in the opinion that it is our “dough” that is better and tastier. Such is human nature, but such stubbornness will not lead to anything good. Our “dough” is not the best – it’s just different.
YOU ARE AN EMOTIONAL TYPE AND YOUR PARTNER IS AN INTELLIGENT TYPE.
You must remember the following: you really want a violent emotional contact. But your partner – a “reasonable person” – no less urgently needs a completely opposite – more restrained feelings, “delayed” expressions of emotions. Sometimes this style of relationship can offend you with coldness, seeming alienation …
Remember that emotionally, you two are complete opposites. You will first react emotionally, and only then stop and begin to sort out your feelings. And your partner will do the exact opposite: first, they think about the situation to determine exactly how they feel. You may not be able to modify the nature of your intelligent partner, but you can help him express his emotions more easily.
You must provide the “smart” with the greatest emotional comfort. At their extreme, thinking signs are so terrified of emotion that any emotional conversation scares them. They immediately try to round off the discussion, because they are afraid that a conversation about feelings will result in an argument, a quarrel, or, at least, in a conversation in a raised voice. Of course, it’s much easier to discuss today’s weather or the recent victory of Nikolai Davydenko and Elena Dementieva in the Kremlin Cup tournament!
Try to encourage his smallest attempts to share his passions with you . Do not try to predict exactly how he will express his emotions – let everything go as it goes. Do not be offended when he does not support you at the moment when you need it. Remember, if you do not have enough of his emotions, this does not mean that he loves you a little – it is just that your half does not know how to communicate in the style that would satisfy you emotionally.
If in your partner’s horoscope most of the planets are located in the signs of Earth and / or Air, and in your horoscope the influence of Water and / or Fire is strong enough, the contradiction between your thirst for spiritual communication and his desire for alienation can be really serious. It will take a tremendous amount of patience to bridge this difference.
In such a situation, mature people find the strength to respect each other’s peculiarities and differences; it is promising to search for a certain level of compatibility. In particular, the partner of the “thinking” sign must realize that emotions and their manifestation are not at all such a terrible thing, and the partner of the “feeling” sign must learn to control himself and try to make important decisions based on facts and the real situation, and not only on their own feelings.
YOU ARE AN INTELLIGENT TYPE AND YOUR PARTNER IS AN EMOTIONAL TYPE.
If you are uncomfortable with your partner’s constant craving for emotional contact (for example, he or she does not stop complaining that you are cold and acting like a cracker), you can defuse the situation. You can narrow the chasm that separates you, although, of course, differences in attitudes towards emotions will still persist.
First of all, don’t assume that your partner is so wrong. Naturally, we all tend to think that we are the ones who are right and that people unlike us came from somewhere on another planet. But do not despair: emotionally dissimilar people can not only coexist peacefully, but also be happy.
Believe me, a “sensual” needs emotions as much as you need self-control and restraint, composure. You will first think it over, and then decide what you are experiencing on this or that occasion, and your partner will do everything differently – he will stop and begin to understand himself after he has responded, obeying the first impulse.
If you are an exception among the “wise men” and do not always keep your feelings under lock and key, then most likely you have two or even more planets in your personal horoscope in Water or Fire. However, if your zodiac sign is located in the element of Earth or Air, then you will be calmer with emotions than your unrestrained partner – regardless of other factors and features of the horoscope.
The fewer planets a reasonable type has in the emotional elements of Water or Fire, the more uncomfortable it is in emotional situations. If this description matches your personal feelings, then it will be especially difficult for you to understand and accept your overly emotional partner. If in the horoscope of your “sensual” there is not a single main planet in the “thinking” elements of the Earth and / or Air, then the gap between you will be even deeper.
What to do in a similar situation? It is necessary to learn to respect each other’s personal characteristics . Searches for compatibility level are promising. In particular, a person of a “thinking” sign should realize that one should not be so afraid of emotions and their manifestations, and a person of an “emotional” sign must learn to control their feelings and try to make vital decisions based on facts, and not only on their own emotions.
If both partners make sincere efforts to find mutual understanding, success is quite real in achieving not only “emotional peace”, but also real spiritual intimacy. Learn to communicate. Communication is the foundation of any relationship. The quality of the relationship largely depends on how successful it will be.
When, in the course of communication, both partners share their joys, sorrows, fears, they become closer to each other. And they reach mutual understanding. The more closely human lives are intertwined, the less the likelihood of conflict becomes. A quarrel over a difference in the inner world does not at all mean the end of love, especially if the members of a married couple have maintained respect and trust in each other.
Written by Sebastian